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| Hawaii 2012 |
What a beautiful week this has
been! Last week Barb and I were in Florida visiting my parents, sister,
brother-in-law, 2 nephews, niece, her new husband, great nephew, the cat and a
small flock of ducks! The weather was perfect for our three days; the sun was
out each day and the temperature was in the 80’s each day. As we left on
Thursday to return home we had shorts and t-shirts on, and the further we drove
north the colder it got. We stopped outside of Columbia to get gas and supper
and it was 37 degrees! What happened? Well, we missed the cold weather during
spring break but are so thankful that this week proved to be sunny and warm.
I am so thankful for these times
you allow me to take away from
the routine. We love seeing family and we enjoy
the 9 hours of time alone in the car. It gives us a concentrated and
uninterrupted time to check up on our relationship. It opens doors of
conversation we don’t otherwise have, and it’s interesting what comes up and
out in those discussions.
I want to encourage all of our
couples to take time to check up in one another. Without open communication in
a marriage that marriage will fail. I’m not saying you’ll end up calling the
lawyers, but you’ll end up being disinterested in one another.
So, let me ask you: “What common
interests of discussion do you and your spouse have?” What I am trying to say
is: what do you guys like talking about?
It is so easy to check out in a
marriage, but it is hard to stay plugged in. Checking out takes nothing. That’s
right, you need to do absolutely nothing to grow the distance between the one
you pursued so urgently years ago. Plugging in on the other hand takes hard
work. It seemed so effortless when you first met and you could talk for hours about,
well, pretty much each other. As time passes it seems that we’ve talked
everything out and have pretty much beaten the proverbial horse dead. But in
order for our marriages not only to survive but also to thrive we need to spend
time working on this communication, you know, talking.
So while the weather is sunny
and the warm breezes blow take an evening and walk the neighborhood with your
spouse and talk. See what comes up and return to those days when you could talk
for hours about nothing really special but it meant that you were together.
Grace & Peace,
Scott
This week (June 3) Barb and I celebrate our wedding anniversary. I remember the Saturday evening we gathered at the little church in Pound, Wisconsin to rehearse the wedding. I remember taking a walk around the neighborhood with my sister, Julie, to talk about marriage. I remember getting up the next morning and going to church with my brother, Jack. I remember being excited as we drove up to the church that afternoon for the wedding. I remember all our friends and family who came. I remember hearing later that summer that a date of a friend accepted Christ as a result of the wedding. I remember being nervous. I remember cutting the cake and not returning to the reception because of all the pictures we had yet to take. I remember leaving for the honeymoon and stopping at a burger joint because we were starved (remember, we missed the reception). And...well, that's as far as I am going to share remembering with you!
Here is our marriage by the numbers...
We have owned 27 cars and been married for 26 years! We've lived in 14 different dorm rooms, trailers, apartments and houses. We have served in 6 churches in 4 states. God has blessed us with 4 children. In all of this I have only had 1 wife! She is the woman God blessed my life with...there have been no others, and I would never shop around for another! Barb is the first, and only, girl I ever said, "I love you" to in a romantic way. She is my best friend and knows me better than anyone else, and she still loves and accepts me.
I constantly thank God for Barb. She is truly the best thing I have going for me personally. I love her with all my heart and want to spend the next 26 years learning more about her--Ancora Imparo! One of our prayers and desires is to show our kids and the church that a good marriage is possible, but a great marriage takes hard work! I still enjoy thinking about marriage the way Jesus did in Mark 10:6-9--One woman for one man for one lifetime! It's not a fairytale, but please don't wake Barb!
I Love You, Barb,
Scott
As I think of this week my mind wanders (yea, races) 25 years back. On Wednesday (6-3-09) Barb and I will “somewhat” celebrate our Silver Anniversary. It staggers my mind that this much time has gone by, and I am daily amazed at one person’s consistent love for me for so long. God is not only great, but also infinitely good. Barb has been nothing but supportive over the long haul. She has willingly followed everywhere we believed God would have us go. We bought a house that probably should have been condemned and lived in 750 sq. ft. for 5 years. She has put up with me bringing home both a puppy and a boat without really talking it through. She stayed at home while the kids were growing up. She goes without needs just so the kids (including me) can have what we want. She is the epitome of what it means to be a pastor’s wife (I sincerely believe you can’t find a better one). She is kind to others, loves to read, and prefers bad conversation to good TV. Best of all, she loves Jesus with all of her heart. She truly models what it means to be God’s daughter!
I write this to let you know what I bring to the table as a pastor. There are times when people look at me and think, “He’s not much smarter than monkey hair.” But, I’ve made at least three good decisions in my life: (1) I accepted Christ when I was 15, (2) I married Barb when I was 21, and (3) I came to Calvary when I was 43. Let the good times roll!
I offer this prayer: Abba, I stand amazed at all the good things you have given me. I am especially thankful for the wife You provided. You are so wise because you gave me the woman I needed to get me through this tough world. I thank you for redeeming my life and giving me a reason to wake up each day. Father, I thank you for calling me and placing me in your church—Calvary. Help my life to be a reflection of our goodness. AMEN!
Grace & Peace,
Scott
