I spent a little time recently with a young man who is going off to war. If you haven’t met him you should. His name is Jesse Shaw and he has been coming to Calvary for a few months. Ben and I got him a Bible because we desire to continue investing our lives into Jesse’s even though he would be thousands of miles away. Jesse is a pretty neat guy who will look you straight in the eye during a conversation. He is excited about what he is about to do, and he is focused. He said he wanted to do his part in this war.

Something Jesse and I talked about has got me thinking this week. He is going away to Kuwait for a year, and when he leaves (which could be any day) he will put his Boiling Springs life on pause. Everything he enjoyed over the last year he will not experience this coming year – birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, family dinners, church, and dates (!Kristen!). Things will definitely change while he is gone. I imagine some restaurants will open along Highway 9, and people will change (new hair styles, growth spurts, etc.), but Jesse will wear the same clothes day after day, he will have the same hair cut month after month, and he will eat the same food…everyday! We have to learn to empathize with his situation.

I think we all find ourselves in this situation from time to time. Something happens, we have to push the pause button, but everything, and everyone, else keeps moving on. We feel left out; we feel like we are on the outside looking in. And once we get back in the game there is a huge learning curve. Frustration builds as a result and anger or bitterness takes root.

The lesson we need to learn from this, whether it is Jesse, Mike, Clay (or anyone going off to war), or somebody whose had to stop because of a prolonged illness is to feel for those whose lives have had to temporarily stop. One greatly need way to minister to people going through this is through constant communication. As the body of Christ we must be His hands and feet to others face "life-pausing" circumstances. We must communicate through personal visits, text messages, Facebook posts, Skype, personal letters and cards, and phone calls. Leave no one behind!

Grace & Peace,

Scott

Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose. (Proverbs 18:21 NIV)

I just finished reading a book on communication titled War of Words by Paul Tripp. It is an excellent book that I recommend everyone take the time to read. I have never come across a more detailed biblical treatment of communication. In the first part of the book he deals with where the struggle with words comes from

Many of the problems we experience when talking with one another emerge from the fact that we have usurped the authority of God: We say what we want to say, when and how we want to say it. We speak as if we are in charge and as if we have the right to use words to advance our purpose, and to achieve what would make us happy (pp. 20-21).

Words are powerful. We have the ability and freedom to choose when it comes to words. We can choose to use our words as weapons to destroy our “enemy” or we can choose to use them as loving building blocks shoring up another person’s insecurities. And there are all kinds of avenues through which we can use our words…

1. Verbal: This is what we say to each other. It’s the stuff of everyday life. Verbal communication is something that is unavoidable. It is almost impossible to make it through any day without saying something to somebody (unless we are trapped alone on a deserted island).

2. Written: The unique thing about writing is that you can edit. This is so cool! I write about 4,500 words a week. I remember writing papers in college and seminary all the while dreaming of the day when I would be released from the “writing prison” and enter ministry. Boy was I fooled. I have come to love writing, but just wish someone would read my words.

3. Body Language: A very powerful way we communicate is often through what is not said but the way our body says what we say. Are our arms folded? What is the expression on our face? Do we maintain eye contact? Often we communicate detachment just by the way we present ourselves to somebody. An important key I have learned over the years is to be genuine when I ask about how someone is doing. I have to consciously tell myself to stop, look the person in the eye, sit down if they are sitting, and shut my mouth when they are telling me about how they are doing.

Use your words wisely, here’s talking with ya!

Grace & Peace, Scott