I am no expert in the arena of parenting. The problem with my fatherhood is three-fold:

1. The jury is still out on me.

2. At times I have failed as a father.

3. I am still learning how to be a good father.

But I offer some reflections that have benefited me and hope they will help others.

Being a father is tough. Too often men enter into this sacred role flippantly and with little or no preparation and that is sad. Of the many demands on our lives guys, being a dad ranks as one of the most difficult and important. Why do we spend so much time on our vocations or planning for our retirement, when raising our kids is so important? I believe we can lose a job and recover, but if we lose our kids…then what?

One of my cherished possessions in my office is a piece of cross-stitch I’ve had since 1987. It reads, Any man can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy! I would only add that it takes a great deal of blood, sweat, and tears as well.

Kids grow up too quickly. This is not just a worn-out phrase…it is shockingly true. Some days I long to hold my kids just one more time on my lap; I want them to wrestle with me and jump all over me again. The sad truth is that this will never happen and I have to live with that. Kids grow up, period.

Two songs that I listen to over and over are Cats in the Cradle & Watching Scotty Grow. Cats is a sad song about a dad who is too busy to spend time with his growing son. The son wants to be just like him. In the end the dad wants to spend time with his son, but his son is now too busy for his dad—“He’d grown up just like me.” Watching (a song my Mom used to sing to me) is a song about a dad spending time with his son instead of spending time chasing dreams…he just wanted to watch his boy grow up. Two good songs…two lessons learned.

There are no guarantees in raising kids. I partially agree with this, but it is no excuse for us dads to be physically present but emotionally and spiritually checked out! The principle of scripture still holds true, Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6 ESV). Men, we must be doing the training and not using the “no guarantees” excuse to get us out of our responsibility. Don’t just show up; do something to train.

I am scared…I am scared out of my skin to have my kids walk away from God and His love for them. The most security kids can have is in an eternal relationship with God, and I want to do everything I can to make sure they have that security.

Solomon wrote, The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him. (Proverbs 23:24 ESV)

Grace & Peace, Scott