We’ve all said things we wish we hadn’t said. That’s just an axiom of life. It’s not an excuse to go on saying dumb, hurtful, and self-justifying things; it’s a fact of life because we are human and imperfect. Hopefully we are growing to learn to guard our tongues.

Our words usually hurt those with whom we are closest. This is due to the fact that with these people we are on familiar and comfortable ground and our guard is down. We know they will get over it and forgive us. But then the day comes when they don’t, and we are left with a relational and emotional landscape that looks like the beaches of Normandy in 1944. We are at war! The outcome is not going to be pretty. Even with the right help we will end up approaching that relationship with trepidation because of the verbal landmines that have been left behind.

However, there is hope. The first step we need to take is repentance. That means we are going to search the depths of our hearts and ask God to show us where we have sinned. We are not going to do an inventory of someone else’s heart, only our own. We are going to own up to our sin, agree with God that it is sin against Him and His child, and go in the opposite direction.

The next step is to approach that person with humble admission. We must be willing to accept that we were wrong and hurtful. At this point the intent of our heart should not be to just move on but to get the relationship back on the rails. With the right heart attitude we will communicate a desire to do the hard things and work diligently at removing the landmines one at a time. This will be messy and time consuming, but it will be necessary and, in the end, beautiful.

This is a hard lesson to learn and that is why so much Scripture addresses it. Both the Old and New Testaments deal with it, and so it is imperative that we deal with it as well. Solomon wrote, for the good of the nation of Israel, and ultimately for our benefit as well:

From the fruit of his mouth a man eats what is good, but the desire of the treacherous is for violence. (Proverbs 13:2)

“…The mouth is a tree that produces fruits that it has to eat. Language is not neutral, not sterile; it initiates a process that will come back to its origin…” (L. Alonso Schökel).

We must learn to be careful what we say because we will end up eating our words.

Grace & Peace,